I’m dedicating this blog to a phrase that people use so very often: It must be nice!
I’ve said and heard it many times. Being a writer and doing what I do, I can’t count the times I have heard from other people: It must be nice….to have the time to sit and wonder about such things! Hearing their slight tone of disapproval from time to time used to bring up some self judgment in me, but now I smile and say yes it is. It is nice to wonder. It is nice to have the time. My life is nice!
Have you ever found yourself saying with a tone…It must be nice (fill in the blank) to or about someone? Do you ever think about what is behind those words? Someone said it to me just last night. I told them I had gone for a massage during the day. ” Must be nice, to be rich,” was their reply.
It can be so easy to point at the person or situation, and say it isn’t fair! I’ve done it, and I have also been on the receiving end of it, but what I have come to know is that behind my sarcastic or someone else’s sarcastic words…It must be nice ( fill in the blank) , there is always an emotion and judgment. Let me just throw out some It must be nice statements, and feel for yourself if anything occurs within you. ( maybe you have even said some of these yourself)
It must be nice….
to be paid all that money for playing a sport, acting in a movie, singing a song!
to not have to work!
to take a vacation!
to spend $1000 on a pair of shoes!
to not have any responsibilities!
to do what you want when you want!
to eat whatever you want to and not gain weight!
to have all the time in the world!
to live in such a big house!
to drive that fancy car!
Do you feel any emotions of anger? resentment? Do you feel a little kick to your belly or a tug on your hair?
Maybe you have been on the receiving end of such statements? I have been there as well, and there was a time that it would bring up some feelings of guilt. I felt bad if someone did not have what I had, as if maybe I did not deserve to have it. It’s like there is this intrinsic imprint within me that believes life should be fair for everyone, and when it is not a part of me feels guilty or bad. This made me realize how strong the need for approval and fairness in society can be, and I saw how it affected me. I questioned if such a belief worked for me. It didn’t. I saw how unfair life was and is.
Life should be fair! The reality IS, life is not. Isn’t this the war in your mind that can cause so much drama? Think about it, the war between how life IS and how it should be. It makes so much sense that whenever you sarcastically say….It must be nice that emotions arise out of how you think life should be, but isn’t for you. This is what I have come to know for myself when ever I hear myself begin to say….It must be nice! ( fill in the blank)
I know that when I sarcastically say this phrase to someone, that I subtly am judging my own life and myself. At the time, it just feels better to project my anger toward the other person, as if they are the one who is wrong or bad for having what I don’t have. Yeah, sure when I become aware that these words are leaving my lips, I look inward and realize that I, in that moment am not accepting myself, my life, or my choices. This non-acceptance feels like crap and it takes away my power! If I keep my focus on the other person, then they have to go bankrupt, move, or stop driving their car in order for me to feel better. Depending on someone else to change, just does not work for me. Does it work for you?
For fun, see how many times you become aware that you use the phrase: ” It must be nice!” As you feel a not so good emotion behind those words, or that anger toward the other person you say them to, it is a golden nugget of a clue of just how much you are NOT accepting about yourself, it just might feel not so good
There is more to be said about the power of acceptance, especially when that unconditional acceptance begins with you!
If you would like to know more about the power of acceptance, or turning stuff into gold, stick around. I’m soon to launch a website with my best friend, and business partner, Jan Hopland.