What Is It To Lose Yourself In Someone Else?

Posted on November 29, 2010 by Patty Sherry

Have you ever experienced being lost in someone? It is so easy to trigger that romantic, blissful feeling associated with just seeing their face or wanting them to be near you. It’s easy to imagine that movie scene of being”lost in their eyes” as you listen to a romantic love song, stop time together, and your lips meet with a kiss. It’s easy to want to be lost when “being lost” triggers these good feelings.

And yet.

Being lost in someone can be more than just a romantic, blissful journey. It can be a journey of anger, sadness, fear, blame, and even pain. It can become a time in your life where you lose parts of yourself out of that desire to be a part of someone else, where you feel slightly insecure and unsure of everything; your destination unknown. Searching.

And yet.

How often do we long to be lost? Lost in LOVE.

I have experienced both polarities in my life. I’ve felt the thrill of those magical lost moments in my relationships, and I have also felt when pieces of me slipped away and my life became all about them and less about me. I didn’t like how that felt, because at times I questioned who I was. It was easy at times to stay caught up in it, and yet at the same time it felt so hard.

Life being hard, yes that was one of my clues and my triggers toward change.

The reflections I saw did not feel good. For powerful change I knew I had to look inward, and when I looked inward my destination became clear, it was a full circle back to me. No longer about them. The searching was over, I was no longer lost because i found myself. I like to say I found my way home. In saying so, I am sweetly reminded of one of my favorite books, The Alchemist.

I makes me wonder that perhaps it takes getting lost in someone else to truly discover and find yourself? Perhaps.

I am also sparked to share a poem titled, Lost In You. It describes place I believe we have all been, are, or maybe long to be. Lost.

Lost In You

Losing myself, I become someone else
Get so lost in you
These words that I speak, reduced I feel weak
When I’m lost in you
and I try to divide, but only get more entwined
I’m so lost in you

and I don’t know who I am anymore…

Doing things I won’t normally do
as I ache to get closer to you,
never quite reaching the stars,
here alone in the dark I’m so lost
I’m so lost in you

But sometimes I just feel so alive!
with the beat of my heart pounding inside
and the thought of you here at my side
I get lost, so easy…
I get lost in you.
and I don’t care if I’m ever found!

Letting go of my dreams, coming apart at the seams
feel so lost in you..
and I search for the person I knew
but all I see in the mirror is You
all the signs pointing me to what is true
and my heart tells me what I must do..
to find my way…
I’ll find my way home.

Thankful For This Life

Posted on November 24, 2010 by Patty Sherry

Have you ever uttered the words, ” Is this all there is?” Have you ever wondered what the meaning of life is or silently thought to yourself about what meaning your own life has? Have you ever “searched” for more meaning?

This is a poem dedicated to the the letting go of the search for more meaning in your life, and to the realization that your life has meaning now. This is a poem dedicated to being thankful for where you are, where ever that may be in this moment, and to the trust that all is well.

When do you know that your life has meaning?
today
tomorrow
someday?

Is it just before you take your last breath
and you look back on all you’ve lived, without feeling a single regret
and you forgive yourself for your imagined sins,
and you let go of the pain you’ve felt within your heart
and you come to know that nothing really mattered
and you feel peace, love, and gratitude
and you tell everyone you have ever loved, how much they have meant to you
and you see the tears in their eyes, and feel their wish that goodbye wasn’t true?

Is dying what we must do?

I see how often this is true.

and I wonder, why do we wait?

To say
I love you
I’m sorry
You mean something to me
I’m good enough
I forgive
It is all perfect
I let go
I am thankful, for everything
my life has meaning…..

I don’t have a conclusion that satisfies me, I won’t wait.

A Thanksgiving Reflection

Posted on November 24, 2010 by Patty Sherry

I write this blog on early Wednesday evening from Bergen, Norway as I contemplate that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Well at least back in the States it is, tomorrow here it is simply Thursday. (literally speaking that is)

As I noticed a Facebook status of “gobble, gobble” I picture some early NJ risers tomorrow getting up and putting their turkey in the oven, and I can smell turkey cooking within my own imagination. I smell the rosemary, sage, and thyme and actually feel the warm oven on my face as I open it to take in the scent of the the Turkey day bird.

This vision makes me smile and yet I feel a bit sad and in this very moment because a part of me feels that by being here, I am somehow missing the Thanksgiving holiday. It is a momentary feeling and as I sit and sip a cup of tea, and I breathe and accept what has come up in me.

I find it is common for many of us to feel sentimental, sensitive, and even sometimes sad around holidays, especially the holidays in November and December.

This feeling moves through me quickly and changes to a feeling of being thankful. I ‘m thankful for the people in my life, and I am thankful for those who are not. I’m thankful for everything that has brought me here. I am thankful for where I am now ( in Norway) and I am thankful for where I am yet to go.

I feel warm and peaceful inside as I share this with you, and yes happy and thankful that I can. I am happy to be giving thanks, and the feeling of missing Thanksgiving suddenly transforms. I’m not really missing anything, ( well OK I am not cooking a turkey, but we will eat a meal tomorrow with some American Thanksgiving spice and tradition to it)

Tomorrow may be just Thursday in Norway, but in my heart I feel it is Thanksgiving no matter where I am. Come to think of it, the feeling of Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be limited to just one day a year! In this realization I simply smile, and yes I feel thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving❤❤

It feels great to reflect on Thanksgiving in this way.

From Confusion Comes Clarity, From Anger Comes Joy

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Patty Sherry

Everything is unfolding perfectly,
From what may seem as confusion and pain, clarity and joy can also rise.
He wrote this in an email

I didn’t believe him,
I read his words and instead heard
nails screeching down a chalk board
Was he kidding? I sent a sarcastic reply

I was angry, sad, hurting
Asking why?
“Look on the bright side,” she said
But everything about this feels dark!
Her advice I could not use
I wanted some relief, a little love and tenderness
or for someone to maybe walk a few blocks in my shoes

Living in confusion
is to reside in a place where dreams don’t come true, painful
where the answers to questions do not exist
and the more you search, the reasons for why you are here seem to multiply
as the ache in your chest beats strong and it feels hard to breathe

I fought this war with myself
Finally I surrendered to my confusion, my sadness, my pain
and in the dark I told myself to trust that I was good right now,
and would be good tomorrow

I didn’t have the answers for tomorrow
or change anyone or anything about today, except for myself
I felt the ease in this acceptance, and I began to breathe again.

Surrender, Acceptance, Time, Trust

Out of any confusion can come clarity, out of any sadness or anger can come joy.
It may take a little time, and a gentle reminder to have trust.

These words are meant to be felt, experienced, rather than merely read

It is only then that you will fully understand their true meaning,
and experience a freedom that is endless.

What Would Barbie Say?

Posted on November 9, 2010 by Patty Sherry

I photographed this chest filled with Gi Joe dolls at a recent flea market in NJ. It caught my eye as I was searching for vintage leather bags, and it seems it has caught my imagination as well. I enjoy taking a playful look at life, and of course blogging about it. It’s fun not to take life too seriously at times.

I found the way these dolls were displayed to be slightly creepy, and a funny and weird thought occurred to me, “What would Barbie say?” and for that matter, what about Ken? Could they be old buddies of Ken’s?

Who are these guys? Some of them are rather handsome. How did they end up in a chest at the flea market?

I look back on my Barbie days, and my Barbie was either driving her sports car or her cool camper. She spent her time at the beach and at parties, and sometimes she went swimming in my bathtub. She loved to dive from the tub faucet.

And then there was Ken. He was always Barbie’s date. He loved camping, parties, and going to the beach with her.

These other guys, where were they? Were they too busy working and fighting wars to have fun? I wonder. If that was the case it seems they missed out! It can really suck to feel like you’ve missed out on the party!

Maybe when Barbie was spending sister time with Skipper, or shopping with her other Barbie friends is when Ken got to hang with his buddies? No one ever talked about them; I’m sure there is a story there. I can only wonder, “What would Barbie or Ken have to say today?”