Just Go With The Flow?

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Patty Sherry

I woke at 3:30 am to my own voice saying, “Patty, get up and type” and I have learned not to fight these late night/early morning rambles. I could choose to stay under the covers, try to go back to sleep, but I know this little whisper I hear urging me to get up will only get louder. So, I choose to go with the flow
( get up) and see what insight comes out of it.

The dominant message that has turned from a whisper to more of a shout is, “ Go with the flow.”

Many of us say we should just “try” to go with the flow, but going with the flow of life isn’t always so easy. The rebellious voice in my head shouts out, Damn straight!

I envision the metaphor of me in the river tube or row boat flowing downstream. Is it really easy to just flow in this way?

I don’t wanna go with this flow, why can’t I direct it to the left instead fo the right! This waters moving a little too fast, I want to slow it down and see the trees along the bank! Now this water is moving too slow and I ‘ll never get to my destination! There’s sticks and rocks, twists and turns.

I suppose if I could get myself into a place of trust, then going with the flow of where life takes me would be easy. “Just be.” I admit that I have experienced glimpses of this feeling place of releasing my need to control. Life is pretty delicious when I can be this allowing and not worry about the future.

But many times I just don’t like whats a flowin” my way either. There are people I don’t get along with. People who I feel frustrated or sad being around. There are situations I might not enjoy being in. Things I feel I have to do that I don’t want to do. Places I feel I have to be, people I feel I have to see! This action of going with the flow is not always easy, especially when I really don’t want to.

I seem to be stuck on this message of going with the flow. There has been something knawing at me for the last hour about the nature of “going with the flow” I want to shut down my laptop and lay back down under the covers, it’s 5 am, dark and quiet and my pillow is inviting my head upon it. My own voice won’t let me though. There is more, I know it!

What if going with the flow is more than going with the external things in life that happen? What if going with the flow is also an internal thing?

Patty, go with the flow of your emotions! Let them flow.

hmm Just go with the flow…

I feel happy, I feel mad. I feel sad. I feel vulnerable. I feel excited. I feel love. I feel afraid. I feel any emotion in any moment. No emotion is right, wrong, good or bad. Just let them flow. Some emotions might not feel so good, but ignoring or pretending they don’t exist now THAT is a struggle, and your emotions always linger under the surface anyway, your body feels them even if you pretend with your mind that you don’t. Let go of what should and should not be as far as you feel.

Accept your emotions, that is going with the flow, no matter what that flow is.

I can feel a certain empowerment to this kind of going with the flow. I feel what I feel, you feel what you feel, and it is all OK.

I think I’m going to have to come up with a different visual ( than a boat downstream) for going with the flow of my emotions.

Everything Flows (thisdragonfly.wordpress.com)
The Beauty and Freedom of Losing Control (shareyourlovestory.wordpress.com)

There’s Never Enough Time!?

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Patty Sherry

You’re running out of time! Time is too short! Stop wasting time!

I can feel the urgency in my body even as I write these words, it “understands” and feels the anxiety of them.

You’ve probably felt it too, the anxiety that life and time is slipping by, and you’re missing out.

You have a dream, it hasn’t come into fruition. You want that “special someone” to share your life with, you’re with the wrong person or no one at all. You want to do something meaningful, but you haven’t found what that is yet. You seek happiness, but happiness seems to be somewhere out there in the future…

And right NOWyou find yourself thinking out loud, There’s never enough time!

I’ve been here countless times, tired of waiting. Frustrated. Worried about time.
It has taken some introspection on my part to become aware that TIME is indeed a perception. Albert Einstein expressed this beautifully:

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”

Having a lack of time is my fear based perception, I recognize this. It’s been reinforced in my mind and even in my body through my own experiences and through other people.

Lack of time is probably based on a fear of dying one day. But whatever the reason for this fears origin, I believe that although real, time is an illusion too. Time is my perception. It is your perception too.

As I surrender to the fear, I open myself up for other perceptions about time.

I have all the time in the world! Time is on my side. My body feels a gentle ease in these words. I know I have been very practiced in believing the opposite, but with a bit of practice and gentle talking to myself, I know I can keep shifting.

“Practice makes perfect.” some say. I don’t need to be perfect, I just want to feel a little better when the old fears and anxieties pop up.

My good friend Lee Harris, recently put out a music video called “Time” The song’s lyrics and message are so very fitting that I wanted to share it with you.

There Are Some Things You Just Can’t Accept!

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Patty Sherry

You don’t have to accept anything!

“Acceptance” a buzzword for spiritual and personal growth. As I have gone on my own path of personal awareness, ACCEPTANCE is something I talk about and explore endlessly.

I have both embraced and struggled with ACCEPTANCE. I’ve felt the ease and peace of acceptance within my body, and I’ve felt the torment and crappy feelings of my non-acceptance. I’ve felt the fight and the struggle.

I notice how often the word ACCEPTANCE can equate to a place you aspire to be or something you feel you must do. I must be accepting! Non-acceptance therefore feeling or being wrong in a way. This is no surprise to me since what feels bad to the body can easily be seen as wrong by your mind.

I’ll hear people, especially those who have been on a spiritual path, go into self blame or actually call themselves hypocrites because they feel they should be more accepting…but they are not in the moment.

My yoga/mediation and self proclaimed Buddhist instructor recently confirmed this as we discussed the topic of acceptance. He struggled with his lack of acceptance at times, and due to his profession he felt especially bad about this.

What are you in the moment if you are not ‘accepting”?

Usually I find that people are angry. This is especially true when you are trying to accept something outside of yourself. I have found myself slipping into this rhetoric at times about acceptance, and the minute I hear myself say the words “I should be more accepting” I have a clue.

What I realize is this:

There Are Some Things We Just Can’t Accept!
Is this wrong? I say No.

Not accepting is not wrong, no matter how evolved, spiritual, or self aware you may be. Non-acceptance is a state of being equally as valid as acceptance. The key here is your own awareness of how you feel, and what you choose to do from here.

It’s helpful to become aware if your non acceptance is the inward or the outward kind. Inward being acceptance about your own emotions, outward being acceptance about what someone else is doing.

Outward acceptance comes with more conditions, simply because there is someone else involved. Inward acceptance is between me and me, or YOU and you.

I really believe that most people ( me included) will struggle with the term acceptance moreso with the outward kind ( relationships, work issues,world situations). Most times the crappy way you feel is due to what someone else IS or isn’t doing.

You have a hard time “accepting” it. As long as they are doing what you might not like, and they or the situation are not about to change, acceptance simply becomes something you “should” or you “try” to do but can’t.

When your main focus is outward, you tend to ingore the inward acceptance of how you feel ( you’re angry, sad) Your main power to address your own body and emotions is ignored. As long as you ignore how you feel, (what ever that feeling may be) your sense of well being will always be dependent on someone else.

This is where you start to believe “ If I accept this then I am stuck!” or you feel a sense of defeat.

When my focus of acceptance is inward, I am facing my emotions rather than ignoring them. Many times I have felt that instant relief when I simply say out loud, “I’m mad!” “I’m sad!” My acceptance comes when I allow myself to really admit what I am feeling. This is a total inward journey, and it is empowering rather than draining for me. I can feel myself shift rather than feel stuck.

So here is the rock and a hard place when you address ACCEPTANCE from an outer rather than inner perspective.

If I accept this person’s actions that I don’t like, I’m stuck with something in my life that I don’t want. If I can’t accept this person’s actions or the situation I must be doing something wrong, I need to try harder, I must not be as evolved, spiritual, or aware as I thought….

I’ve been in this place around the topic of acceptance. I can see how the essence of the word acceptance can be misused. This is why I want to bring validity to the polarity of acceptance…which is non-acceptance, to let go of any guilty beliefs that non-acceptance is wrong or bad. It simply IS.

ACCEPTANCE is not the be all and end all place to be at all times. It’s no different than aspiring to be happy all the time. Sure happiness feels wonderful, but let’s face it, sometimes I’m angry, sad, or a whole host of other emotions that might not feel good.

Non-acceptance is a valuable tool too, just like acceptance is. Both are a state of being in any moment…you are either accepting or not accepting. Come to see one is not better than the other.

You are where you are. Feel how freeing this is…”You don’t have to accept anything!”

The key is how does your body feel, and what do you choose for yourself from here. Life is about CHOICE and preferences. It’s about how you feel in any moment. Do you want to survive or feel truly alive?

I’m choosing what makes me feel alive these days. I know what I prefer in my life, and my choices of people and situations I surround myself with are reflecting this. If my choices are not bringing me a feeling of love, joy, satisfaction, ease, pleasure, meaning, what the hell is the point?

If my choices continue to perpetuate anger, sadness, dissatisfaction, difficulty, pain, lack of meaning, in my life. I’d better re-examine the choices I’m making then.

All this takes is a willingness on my part to honestly check in with myself.

Patty Sherry is an inspirational speaker, writer, and owns a self empowerment business in New Jersey. For more information visit my website www.ShareYourLoveStory.com