How Willing Are You To Put Yourself Out There?

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Patty Sherry

There’s a meter within us all. An alarm that goes off when that comfort zone has been crossed. Some alarms sound earlier than others when it comes to putting yourself out there.

That old vulnerability button gets pushed, and you can go into shut down. So you won’t take that chance, that job, try that new experience, talk to that stranger.

I’ve always tended to be on the more daring side, however when you get burned in life a few times it can be easy to want to retreat.

So I simply remind myself.

Poetry has always been my avenue.

I Put Myself Out There

Splashing an insecurity across my sleeve
While my ego bleeds
Down

But somehow I found my courage
It was hiding under a pile of garbage
and past mistakes

Don’t take this the wrong way
It’s not like me to harbor
regrets

Haven’t YOU ever put yourself out there?
I must admit it is a scary thing to do…
Honesty is not always a safe policy

Some people will stand there and watch you burn
make you think you should learn
to be less vulnerable

Keep the REAL you inside
But I shine too brightly to hide!
Why would you dim your own light?

When you can find others who encourage you
to take flight…
Who will soar in the sky?
With you

It certainly makes this journey one hell of a ride!
I’ve opened my eyes wide to the possibilities
and I love what I see!

I love the thrill of the adventure
living life with eagerness and wonder
I won’t live under any radar!

keeping dreams sealed in a jar
Safe, secure, and warm.
That is simply not how this song goes.

Who knows what life has in store?
But I don’t need to know much more of anything
All that is required is that I am willing to sing….

and I am. I will. I do.
How about you?

Vulnerability Is A Gift.

Posted on October 16, 2011 by Patty Sherry

Do you realize how much of a gift your vulnerability is to me?

Vulnerability is a gift of love.

The very fact that you would trust me enough to let me in to your world, into your heart, and even into your fears moves me.

It means you are open to me, which lets me open to you.

It means you tear down those walls that could potentially keep me away, so you let me get close. I can tear down my walls too. Without walls we are free!

It means you are willing to be your REAL self with me, and I like it when there are no pretenses. I can be my REAL self with you. Realness is so inviting.

Vulnerability is a gift. Special. If you saw it this way you would not fear it.

It means you are willing to share the bad stuff with me, and that you feel safe doing so. We can talk about anything. Safety breeds safety within any relationship.

It means there is ease, not complication.

Vulnerability nurtures love and connection, freedom and pleasure. It strengthens a bond.

It is games that people play with each other that make a relationship bad; it’s their inability or unwillingness to be vulnerable.

But we all want that love and connection. Yet vulnerability is something we fear and see as a weakness?

This equation is off!

Maybe you have given this gift to someone, and they didn’t recognize it as the gift that it was. They misused or took advantage of your vulnerability. They could not accept it. They may have feared it, so they did not treasure it.

I’ve shared my vulnerability and had this happen. I’ve opened my heart to people. Yes, it was painful. Yes, I had moments of regret, sadness, and anger.

And then I remembered.

My vulnerability is a gift. It is a gift of love. Not everyone is able receive it. But I can. I do. I won’t suppress my vulnerability, because suppressing it is taking away that very gift from myself.

Here is the real understanding.

Vulnerability is a gift I give myself. It is a gift of self love. A key to my connection. Each and everytime I give it to to you, I give it to myself. What you do with it, is your choice.

Vulnerability Is Beautiful (igniteyourpotentialnow.com)
My Brutally Gentle Approach To Life (shareyourlovestory.wordpress.com)

My Brutally Gentle Approach To Life

Posted on October 14, 2011 by Patty Sherry

You have to be brutal enough to to be really honest with yourself, gentle enough to be OK with what you discover…

I’m brutally honest with myself in my exploration of the polarities of me. I’m willing to look at those parts you might consider dark, those sides you might not admire or would want to reject or run away from, those not so happy aspects of me that cause me to react in ways that are not too pleasant.
I’m gentle enough with myself to have less judgement about them. I realize that we as humans all have these aspects within us. We are all capable of being the opposite of love; we all have fears and insecurities, anger, jealousy, resentment to some degree. I’ve let myself off of the hook and the idea that I am a bad person for feeling such things in the first place.

I’m brutal with myself when it comes to blaming others. I know that when I point my finger at someone, it really is NEVER about them. ( although sometimes I want it to be!) I recognize it is all about me and an insecurity or fear they have triggered within me. Each time, the emotion is mine. No matter how justified my blame could be, the bottom line is that I can’t depend on THEM for change in my life. It has to come from me, I must look within.

I’m gentle enough not to beat myself up for feeling what I do. I remind myself that each time I am aware that I am going into blame mode, that it is another chance for me to let a little more of the past wound, hurt, or insecurity in me that’s been triggered go. Each time I become a little more free from what bonds me.

I’m brutal when it comes to my happiness. If I am not happy I take a look at my choices and actions. Do I choose to be around people who are uplifting and loving or do I choose to be around people who want to knock me down or who are unkind? Do I always give more than I am willing to receive? Do I make choices out of fear or love? Do I settle for less than I deserve? I realize that I am always free to choose and that life indeed is a choice.

I’m gentle when it comes to my happiness. If I am not happy I remind myself that this too shall pass. There is always a light that will shine. Even when I believe it won’t change, I remind myself that it always does get better. Always.

I’m brutal when it comes to my sadness. I realize that most of my sadness comes from an ingrained belief that I’m not good enough in some way: a belief that I’m not worthy, loveable, smart, or attractive.

I’m gentle when it comes to my sadness. I recognize that tears are not a sign of weakness, they show I am alive! If I am sad it doesn’t mean that I’m doing something wrong or I don’t know how to handle my life. It is simply a feeling to feel and not judge. I’m gentle enough to know that from all sadness and pain, happiness and freedom can birth.

I’m brutal when it comes to being vulnerable. I’m the one who jumps off the cliff, wears my heart on my sleeve, free falls, and sometimes crash lands.

I’m gentle when it comes to being vulnerable. I see vulnerability as a way to let others in and a way to be open to more love. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is a strength.

I’m brutal with others. They may consider me brutal at times because I am willing to put myself first and to put up boundaries. I don’t allow others to project their crap on me. I will call them out on it or simply not participate.

I’m gentle with others. I know that others can also act from a fear based place, that they say and do things they dont really mean, and that down inside everyone just really wants to feel love and connection….and sometimes they don’t.

My brutally gentle approach to life is an ongoing process. Each day I am brutal about something new, and each day I am equally as gentle.

Are You There (your name)? It’s Me Fear.

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Patty Sherry

Combined below are random thoughts, judgments, and ingrained beliefs, that we as humans all tend to have some of. I’ve combined them into a thread and titled it:
Conversations With FEAR.

These are the familiar conversations that I or you can have with yourself. Sometimes they are so unconscious and ingrained that they can start playing like an automatic recording.

Reading them this way seems almost chaotic, and yet how many times have you found yourself having even one of them?

Have a look and let me know….

Conversations With Fear

It’s a beautiful lovely fall day, and I’m feeling very positive. Life has been pretty damn good lately and I think today is going to be a happy and productive day. I can just feel it, there’s something in the air.

Are you there Patty? It’s me, fear.
Don’t get too happy now, you never know when that other shoe will drop! You know what they say…bad things come in threes.

(((((sinking feeling in stomach)))))

But I’m really excited about this new idea I have, and I’ve just written a kick ass blog! My words flowed with such ease…it was like hearing dictation, it was THAT easy. I know I can write that book I’ve always wanted to read!

Are you there Patty? It’s me fear.
Get real, nothing worth ANYTHING comes easy. It takes alot of hard work to be a success. Besides you might not have what it takes. Do you have any idea how many books fail and are never even read?

((((ugh heart beats faster)))))

But I have dreams! There are things I want to do, places I want to see, and people I want to meet.

Are you there Patty? It’s me, fear.
You need to be real. Face facts. Many dreams never come true, and you wind up feeling disappointed. It will never happen if you want it too much! Better to keep your desires low so you don’t get hurt!

((((anxious headache, need diversion)))))

I think I will go shopping. Buy myself something new, a pretty new lipstick. I deserve it! Or maybe I’ll stop at my favorite bakery and pick up a gooey brownie. Chocolate always makes me feel good!

Are you there Patty? It’s me fear.
Are you really going to spend MORE money with the economy the way that it is? You haven’t been saving a dime or planning for your future at all. What will you survive on when you’re too old to work some day?
Are you really going to eat all those calories? If you don’t watch what you put in your mouth you wont fit into your clothes. You can’t eat the way you used to when you were 25 and get away with it! Tick tock my dear, tick tock.

(((ouch kick to stomach and my pride)))

Even I know these conversations are rediculous and limiting, but sometimes they are just so automatic! I’m going to try harder not to let it get to me. I’m going to be more positive. I’m going to be strong. I’m going to over-come this FEAR. I’m going to do it!

Are you there Patty, It’s me, fear. I’m knocking on your door, and if you don’t answer I can slip under the cracks, so let me in….I’ll always find you!

(((ignore)))))

I’m going to be around more happy, loving, people. I’m going to do fun things I’ve never done before, I’m going to take a risk..try something new. I’m going to expand myself, read more, learn more, live more! I’m going to start saying NO! I’m going to put myself first. I’m going to be happy!

Are you there Patty? It me, fear.
When will it change Patty? I don’t see things or people changing anytime soon! When will you find the time to read more, learn more? There is not enough hours in the day and you’ve got so much you need to do. People get pissed when you say No to them, and it’s selfish to only think of yourself! Do you really want to be known as a selfish bitch? Other people should come first, a “good’ person believes this. Sometimes you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes that ship has sailed. Sometimes you just need to settle for what ya got!

((((back hurts, head hurts, stomach hurts)))))

All things in my life might not be exactly the way that I want them to be, and I know there is a hell of a lot more for me to experience, learn from, and enjoy. I’m going to trust that life is dark some days but sunlight will break through. I have my whole life ahead of me. Things will change, I just know it.

Are you there Patty, It’s me fear!
Well they better change soon. You won’t live forever you know….life is short sometimes and then you die! You’ve got to enjoy life before you get too old to.

((((( deep breath needed)))))))

FEAR is not the enemy. You can make fear your friend, and you don’t need to hide from fear or get over it either! Rather than push my fears away, I’ve learned to embrace them, to accept them.

But to be able to embrace them I need to be aware of them. ( my fears)
I need to be aware of the unconsious conversations that I can have with myself. You could say I am making a consious effort to catch myself when my “friend” fear starts talking to me.

If I make this conscious effort to “listen” then I tend to get less caught up in my own bullshit.

When I recognize it is just my “fear” talking I can start to make changes too. It takes some time, it takes some work…but it IS worth the effort. When I show myself that it is simply ME who is limiting me when I allow fear to rule me, I actually feel stronger…. and more empowered.

Next time you have a conversation in your head, become more aware if the person your talking to is your old friend FEAR.

Then, make peace with it and give your old friend a hug.

Life becomes delicious each time you do.