My introduction to the concept of attraction however, did leave me with a certain feeling excitement and great power in the beginning.
“I’m going to attract all kinds of good stuff!”
The belief that we “attract” people or situations into our lives has some limitations though. It can leave you wide open for judgment.
Especially when it comes to love relationships, and especially with some of the bad stuff.
For example, when you have a cheating spouse. When that first date is a dating nightmare. When you just can’t stop arguing with your significant other. When that perfect someone for you is not in your life yet.
“I must really be doing something wrong if I am attracting this crap into my life!” …. or life would be better!”
It’s pretty natural to go here if you believe in the concept of attraction.
And I’ve been on the soapbox about “negative thinking” too. I subscribed for a while to the belief that “bad thoughts bring bad things into your life”
But no one is happy and positive 24-7. I know I’m not.
Therefore, I’ve learned to adjust my belief system a bit.
First, I’ve eased up with myself about negative thinking. I let go of the belief that I have to push away, control, or ignore negative thoughts. I face my emotions when they surface, I own them, I accept them.
The power of acceptance, rather than avoidance, is strong.
Second, I choose to step beyond attraction. I choose to view the people or situations around me as a reflection; a reflection of my choices and of myself.
I admit that to view the people around me as a reflection of myself or my choices is not something I always find easy or something I want to do. But as far as relationships are concerned, I do believe that staying in a relationship that is less than satisfying or that makes me unhappy is a choice.
Reflection is also something I have had to learn and practice. I’ve had to be both brutal and gentle about it. Brutal by forcing myself to bring it back to me and not outward; gentle by not judging myself for it.
Reflection is also something that doesn’t always comes naturally, especially when someone around me REALLY bothers me or triggers some emotion in me.
For me many of my old arguments triggered a feeling within me of not being appreciated, or not meaning enough to the other person to be listened to. My natural reaction was to blame them. Blaming, I have learned is futile. Dealing with the root emotion of not being appreciated has been productive though.
When I suggest to people that if something about someone else triggers an emotion in them in some way, that it is something within THEMSELVES, or its something about their choices that they should look at, some people outright reject the concept!
It’s painful to look in that mirror! It can be difficult to own your choices.
But I am not here to “prove” that you need to adopt anything into your life. I’m here to share what works for me, what’s been most empowering, and what has helped me make the most changes in my life.
You can’t realize how profound the concept of reflection can be until you apply it…and you keep applying it.
It stops my ability to point fingers at others. It forces me to look at my choices. It’s given me the most ease in my relationships because it’s helped me rely less on what others must do. It brings me back to the very source of my own power….ME.
I am a chooser!
I always have the power to make new choices and to deal with the consequences of my choices. I have the power to choose who is in my life and who isn’t. I have the power to change my beliefs if needed. I have the power to heal my wounds or insecurites. I have the power to release ideas that don’t work in my life.
Life is all about the choices you make and the way that you feel about them in any moment.
How do you feel today?……
Patty Sherry owns a Personal Development company in Bergen County, New Jersey, and offers private sessions and group workshops that focus on improving relationships, self love, and self empowerment. For more information visit her website www.ShareYourLoveStory.com or join her on Facebook.
- Understanding the Mirrors in Your Life by How To Raise Your Vibration (magneticwind.com)
- Reclaiming Your Power – Lifestyle: How to live the life you imagined (hofholistichealingcenters.com)