August | 2012 | Share Your Love Story

Didn’t Get The Job? There IS A Bright Side!

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The puzzle pieces are clicking together! A short time ago I blogged about me not getting the job. I said I knew there would come a time that I could look back on my disappointment in retrospect and understand why the job wasn’t mine.

A short time ago I wasn’t there yet though, and I did not see the bright side.

Well that has changed, and as promised here is my update:

To refresh you on where I was with all of this, I pretty much allowed myself to really feel the disappointment of not getting hired by the accounting firm, and I didn’t try too hard to look for a bright side in that moment. I did trust however that I would get my answers…

The other day out of the blue I received an email from yet another accountant. Chris Haviaris is a fellow Toastmaster from the public speaking club I belong to, and a friend. She needs someone to market an upcoming workshop of hers, and she thought of me.

Would I be interested to help market a workshop about …..get this….Improving your relationship with money!

Not only would I market the workshop, I would also get to attend it. This is a two month project. Of course I told her an enthusiastic YES!

Even though the previous job was with an accounting firm, I see how much more Chris and I have similar personal philosophies about life. We are such a better fit to work together, and we have something more to give to each other.

And even though this job is temporary, the benefits from working with Chris fit so well with my own personal and financial goals.

Also, after NOT getting that first job at the accounting firm, I have since interviewed for a marketing position at a Holistic Wellness Center; a holistic wellness center whose mission statement talks about the importance of incorporating Body, Mind, and Spirit in your everyday life.

This is so in tune with who I am and where I am going. I have a second interview with them in a few weeks!

I suppose this means that there will be a part 3 to this blog

I will continue to let life unfold, and extract my lessons from it. Life shows me that it is totally OK to feel crappy or disappointed, and it is totally OK to get your hopes up. It’s not necessary to put up walls! I will allow myself to get excited about the possibility of a new full-time job at a Holistic Center because even if it doesn’t work out, experience has shown me that at some point there IS a bright side. Doors close, windows open…it’s not a cliché.

I will also enjoy the unfolding of this accounting workshop.

Until next time,

With Love & Fireworks,
Patty

Rejection: I Didn’t Get The Job!

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I arrived home from vacation to read the letter: the job WASN’T mine! Talk about a real downer to the most lovely week ever!

I was really excited about this job, in fact more excited than I have been in a long time over a job. The interview felt so right; we really clicked. Even their body language felt positive. When I left the interview, everything inside me believed that this job was mine. It was a done deal..

As soon as I got to the parking lot and inside my car, I called my boyfriend to share my enthusiasm. I was certain that I was perfect for the job.

But I wasn’t perfect for it. Someone else was a better fit! A million questions went through my head.

I know there will be a day that in retrospect I see WHY this job did not work out. But if I am honest, in this moment I am nowhere near that retrospect day. All that I feel in this moment is disappointed.

I feel a bit angry, a bit sad, and I feel that ping of rejection poking at my pride. I feel fearful because my funds have dwindled.

I know myself well enough to know that I have to allow all of these emotions to surface. In this moment ignoring my feelings and putting on a happy face doesn’t help me. I share the bad news with my boyfriend, and he knows me well enough to provide just the right amount of soothing hair strokes, YET he allows me to feel whatever crappy feeling I need to as well, and this is so important for me.

Diving into these emotions helps me move faster through them, so I give myself part of the day to feel them and in doing so I can feel my shift. I buy myself some flowers.

You might tell me that your day is so busy that you don’t have the luxury to “feel bad” over something. I used to have that mindset too, but what I came to realize is that it really was more of a struggle to try to “ignore” how I felt, and usually when I tried to do this I would have some type of outburst. I often felt more overwhelmed with the people around me, and got more easily irritated.

Some people are afraid to feel bad because they think that if they do they will fall apart. I definitely used to believe that too. But suppressing my disappointment, my sadness, or my anger can become a very SLOW chipping away of myself and my happiness, and I don’t want to live like that either.

So here I am in the middle of my disappointment, anger, and hurt pride.

I allow my vulnerability to be present. Strangely this soothes me and gives me power at the same time.

When my ‘retrospect’ day comes, I will have follow-up blog to share with you. But right now that day is not here, so it is back to the job hunt for me….

With Love & Fireworks,
Patty

Resisting Your Own Goals and Plans…What Are You Afraid Of?

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“I want to live life spontaneously, in the now!” “How can I know what the future will bring?”

When one of my life plans exploded around me, and nothing about my life was how I had perceived it would be, I welcomed the concept of spontaneity ( in an extreme way) into my life.

I chose to surround myself with people who lived this way too. It felt really good to be free of “plans” and responsibilities, and to let life just unfold. It was the unknown that felt so exciting to me, and I enjoyed this freedom. I enjoyed being around others who wanted to live in the NOW, and who didn’t want to think much about the future.

But there is also an innate part of me who thrives on plans and goals!

This is the yin and yang of me: spontaneous girl/ goal oriented girl.

My life had been out of balance. For a long while I didn’t allow in much spontaneity, and I lived for my goals, day in and day out. I felt so stuck in a routine.

Then I lived the opposite, NO goals, no plans, no commitments; and I rejected goals.

Within this came my life lesson.

As I lived spontaneously AND I rejected goals, I began to feel a discomfort. The discomfort came from suppressing that natural desire within me: the desire to plan and have goals.

As I lived a goal oriented life AND I rejected spontaneity, I also felt a discomfort. The discomfort I felt came from suppressing that natural desire for freedom.

The lesson comes in what you reject.

My rejection of goals was FEAR based. I’d been disappointed, life had not turned out how I planned. My rejection of making plans too far into the future also came from FEAR.

My rejection of spontaneity was also FEAR based, I wanted to have control in my life and spontaneity did not allow for control.

As I have faced and accepted this, I can feel how the balance has returned to my life: Spontaneous girl/Goal oriented girl, and I like it.

I am more free to choose to welcome in NOT one or the other, but BOTH. I enjoy being around people who do not live rigidly one way or the other, but who allow this balance as well.

I recently made a two year plan for myself. It felt natural and easy to do it. My belly has no butterflies or resistance to it, it’s a giant energetic YES that I physically feel. The physical ease that I feel is my measure and my confirmation that I am in balance with this plan and with myself.

I still enjoy living in the NOW. I still love being spontaneous. I enjoy all those little surprises in life that I don’t see coming.

But I am also more aware of the things I reject. Within them I find my gold.

With Love and Fireworks,
Patty