November | 2012 | Share Your Love Story

Relationships are NOT complicated.

What’s complicated is when you’re not on the same page with someone you meet, or you are no longer on the same page with your partner.

A healthy, happy, and strong relationship is NOT about agreeing on everything, it’s more about being with someone you have mutual connections and interests with. It’s when what is important to you IS important to them too. It’s when being happy matters…it’s a mutual sharing of what is fundamental.

Being in a relationship is not about being in sacrifice to make your partner happy. It’s not about a loss of your freedom or getting hung up over labels. When you both are on the same page, you simply ARE happy to be around each other, and the term “freedom” and “labels” is not an issue. You both recognize that it is NOT your job to make the other happy, so you don’t blame the other for your unhappiness.

I see many NEW relationships doomed, simply because the couple is not on the same page about what is fundamentally important for happiness.

When you meet THAT person who you share a mutual connection with the relationship feels like EASE. There is an openness that flows naturally; and when you are with someone long-term, being on the same page means you grow together, not apart.

But when you are on different pages, it will feel more like banging a square peg into a round hole. It will feel like distance and disconnection. We’ve all had those square peg relationships…and try as you will to make them work, they never quite fit.

You disagree about the amount of time you spend together, you disagree about the level of commitment, you disagree about children, family, religion, or work. You’re pages apart about some of these big issues. You disagree about what REALLY matters to you.

I’ve tried in the past to make a square peg relationship work, and after much blame and frustration, I simply faced that we were NOT on the same page, and more importantly, we never would be.

Sometimes people grow apart, or sometimes people are just too different to begin with and are not meant to be together. Being REAL with yourself without blame, and attending to your own happiness, can take some introspective work.

I’ll admit there was a sense of failure, and a fear of the unknown when this realization occurred. For a time there was a sense of guilt, loss, and grieving. Ultimately however, my self reflection is what helped me to become open and to allow in the things and experiences that are the most important to me.

You could say that I’ve started a new and exciting chapter to my life! Although much of it is yet unwritten, I can say that the man in my life and I are definitely on the same page, and being here is completely wonderful…

What page are you on?

With Love and Fireworks,
Patty

I’m a Jersey Girl, tough….and then again not so much! In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy I am both grateful and sad. I’m grateful I’m safe, for all of my friends, and for all I have, sad for what’s been lost.

As Hurricane Sandy was happening my laptop still had some power, so as a way to relieve my nerves, I began to document what was going on as the storm hit. As I re-read what I wrote I realize my experience was NOTHING compared to what some folks in New York and New Jersey went through and are still going through. I didn’t lose my car, my house, or worse my life.

All I suffered was the minor inconveinence of losing power and heat. An inconvenience hardly worth complaining about.
Without power I did not have access to the graphic TV reports about NY and NJ that people around the world did. I didn’t see the destruction until now, a few days later. It’s only now that I am able to be online and see the messages of, “Are you safe and OK?” and I’m able to see just how bad this storm was, and that I feel the impact.

My “Jersey” will come out now, but there is no other expression that fits how I feel as well….
WTF?? Hurricane Sandy was one f**ked up storm!!

I feel a certain shock, sadness, and grief when I see images of the Jersey Shore. I just spent a wonderful summer vacation in Seaside Park, and rode that roller coaster that now sits crumbled in the ocean. This recent summer I walked along that Boardwalk that is now gone.

I walked along that Boardwalk many summers growing up. Rented beach houses. Met my friends at the Midway. I played the games, and bought waffles and icecream, and salt water taffy. The Jersey Shore has been a part of me…

All of us North Jersey people joked about being called “Bennies” by South Jersey locals, but come Memorial Day Weekend we couldn’t wait to take a trip to the Jersey Shore. Whether I am a Benny or not seems trivial.

I’m in my forties now, and we still had impromtu highschool reunions at the Tiki Bar and and at Jenkinsons. In late Septemeber the weather was still warm, my friends and I met for drinks so we could take one last look at the ocean for the season.

It is so sad to see it all destroyed. I feel a certain sense of grief, like at a funeral. In a way it feels similar to how I felt to see the World Trade Center gone from the NY Skyline for the first time. It’s a sense of loss, something now gone that has always been here since my childhood. I’ve had spontaneous outburst of tears, and I let them flow.

I hear Governor Christie say we will rebuild, and I do believe this to be true. We are Jersey Girls and Guys, we’re tough, we hang in there, and we will come together…

For right now collectively we try to get back to normal. Many are faced with, “What do I do next?” There is still some chaos, traffic, gas shortages, and those without power. This too, I know will pass and life will move forward.

I’m proud to be a Jersey girl…