Blog | Share Your Love Story | ….where life IS the love story and how to better deal with it and create the changes that you want is what I share.

Your Bad Grammar Really Bothers Me

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I’ve been silent here at the Share Your Love Story blog for about three months. I’ve had no words, but oh I’ve had plenty of emotions and negative thoughts after the closure of the business I had been trying to build since 2009.

I knew that acknowledging my failure would bring much for me to process. This was both expected and much needed.

The feeling of failure at anything, brings self judgment, and for the last 3 months I certainly have been processing my share. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the fact that I had failed at doing something that I loved, and yet, what I was doing wasn’t working…

….and so I stepped back.

Stopped.

All of the “You’re not good enoughs and not smart enoughs” bubbled up to the surface, and I let them, I felt them.

I swam through them and brought myself to a clearer place where I was open to new decisions, and new paths I never saw before. It’s a new journey I will share in future blogs.

Today I want to talk about judgement, since I have spent the last 3 months working through my own.

I was sparked by a picture that I saw on FB. It’s a humorous caption about bad grammar. I know many people can relate to this photo because it isn’t the first time I have heard people annoyed or joking about bad grammar. I’ll admit that I have cringed when their and there is used improperly.

However….

If anything triggers you or me THAT much it’s time to look within.

Bad grammar is no exception. We laugh and we giggle when someone uses hear and here in the wrong context, maybe you cringe, maybe you think to yourself how stupid the person is, maybe you can’t help but to correct them. Maybe you are one of the grammar police.

I’ve played my part. I’m no exception. I’ve also had private messages about my own posts.

Here is what I realize:

Judgment is judgment

Triggers are triggers.

Maybe what is behind this annoying grammar photo is YOUR or MY own fear of not being good enough, a FEAR of being stupid. A need to feel superior to someone else. Feel what you choose to from this.

But if you are annoyed with my shitty grammar,(I’m posting without spell check or proofreading) I’m glad to have played the part to help you release some of your own judgment. If you feel the need to message me about something that I spelled wrong, my sprit will thank you for helping me to release the feeling of not being good or smart enough too :-)

With Love and Fireworks,

Patty

The Death of Arabella…I Failed.

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Conceived in 2008, I once called Arabella my baby. Today, however I filed the FINAL tax return; Arabella LLC, once a business and a dream is done.

Am I sad about it? Not really. Letting go felt natural. Arabella merely existed on life support for some time now, signing those final papers is like pulling a plug. I’ve had time to adjust to the situation, and to reflect on it.

Dreams and businesses have life-force and energy, and Arabella had hers.

But what once felt like such a match to me, had changed. That giant YES feeling was gone; for a while this was hard to face. The very fact that it was hard for me to admit made me want to dig deeper into myself.

What I once knew to my core was going to be such a success…..had failed.

And there it is, the word: failure.

I become so aware of how we all seek to avoid this word. Yet, the minute I signed those papers, and accepted and said out loud, “I failed.” I felt a sense of relief.

Why is it that we feel we need to hold on even when things aren’t working? Why is it that we are bombarded with affirmations of “Never give up!” The insight I got from my own experience is all about my own belief system around FAILURE.

It doesn’t matter how logical or spiritual I am, it doesn’t matter how much I know, my beliefs about failing and failure run deep, and they are beliefs that don’t serve me. Acknowledging this helps me to change.

The ingrained belief that to admit “I failed.” is bad, is so far from the truth! I know this because my BODY doesn’t lie; when I finally surrendered to the failure of Arabella, I felt relief….not sadness. I felt promise for the future, not doomed. I felt ease, not difficulty.

Sometimes you have to let something die, whether that be an idea, a business, or even a relationship, so that you can bring NEW life to something else. It helps you move forward and flow, rather than to be stuck. To succeed, you just might have to fail.

Holding onto the belief that failure is BAD, will never let you do this or at least it will drag out the process.

There are just too many things I want to experience to drag out the process. So here I am today, telling you “I failed.” RIP Arabella LLC. I’m minus any knots in my stomach or judgments around it. In fact, I feel a flow of energy running through me; I feel a new openness. I’m not sure what this will bring, but I ‘m excited to find out!

Sometimes it takes a “death” for something new to be re-born; the death of an idea, of a relationship, of a business, of a way of thinking, or a way of doing things.

And, like a funeral there is a period of mourning, a feeling of loss for what WAS. A loss of comfort.

And then it happens.
resolution. acceptance. a NEW knowing. a sense of relief.

You’ve pushed yourself through what was COMFORTABLE. You’ve let go, you’ve opened yourself.

And that first tingle of excitement for the new that is coming emerges… ♥

With Love & Fireworks,

Patty

Don’t Give Up. Not Today.

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Don’t give up. Not today.

You’ve had a setback, it hasn’t happened yet. Someone disappointed you.

I know how one step forward, two steps back made me feel like surely I was doing something wrong or the very things I wanted would have come into fruition. But they didn’t, and life felt frustrating, even sad at times.

I often thought, “Why bother??”

But if there is something that you want, an experience you want to have, THAT person in your life,….Don’t give up. Not today.

I found an old journal of mine and picked a random page to turn to. It was filled with these very doubts; doubts that nothing was working. Released on that page were my frustrations, sadness, and fears.

But I did not give up, not that day.

I accepted my doubts, sadness, and disappointments, but they did not rule me. I searched for a sign, the tiniest of signs of encouragement. And when I was open to see it, I did.

My sign, not to give up. So I didn’t. And life changed for the better.

With Love and Fireworks,

Patty

2013 A New Year Filled With Infinite Possibilities

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Begin 2013 by practicing more self-love. It’s about letting go of any beliefs that your happiness should take a back seat to anything. It’s about embracing the idea that how you feel IS important. It’s about having more trust in yourself. It’s about embracing the idea that vulnerability IS the new bravery; it allows you to be more open to the infinite possibilities…

As I say goodbye to 2012 and hello to 2013 I continue to remind myself of these things. Self love is a practice.

Self love=vulnerability=bravery+ realizing your value+ speaking and living your truth+a continual walk toward your joy+the displeasing of some+a release of other’s opinions.

Some will call your self-love selfish, but I have learned that you can’t please everyone, and more importantly, trying to please everyone is futile.

I wasn’t brought up to put myself first. Disapproval from others that I was somehow a bad person or a selfish person would hit me. I was taught that a certain amount of sacrifice was a good, and to hang on to a relationship through the bad times was honorable. I was taught that quitting was for losers.

But when is letting go honorable? When is saying, “This doesn’t work.” considered good? When is putting your happiness first… right?

For some that answer would be never! But they don’t walk in your shoes, and they don’t walk in mine. Within their answer it’s important to realize that they are selfishly putting their happiness first.

Because, no one likes to be put out. No one likes the apple cart rocked. Not at work, not in love relationships, and not even with your family.

But sometimes that apple is patiently waiting for YOU to come along and knock it off the cart.

I’ve learned there is NO honor in not being true to myself. There is no honor in being a people pleaser, staying at a job, or remaining in a relationship or any situation where I am not happy or where my ideals and who I am get lost.

I’ve learned I am a more loving person when I love myself…

…. and I’ve learned I can’t expect everyone to see it that way.

This is an ongoing, yet important lesson I bring with me and share with you going into 2013.

As I was here typing this blog, I got a FB message that was so timely that I simply must share it. There are no coincidences, there are merely confirmations. Here is the message:

Hello Patty, Stopping by in this special moment (life) to remind your spirit that the miracle continues… From the window of my consciousness, I am making a heart-felt request to the Light of Love in your behalf and that you continue to spread your wings and letting them dry in golden glow… Beaming with Courage and Commitment to fulfill all that your heart holds dear for 2013 and beyond… Sending your way my gift of ‘warm greetings’ wrapped, tied and sealed with the spirit of gratitude.
Blessings to You… Happy New Year! ~ Windsor

Yes, I will. I will continue to fulfill what my heart holds dear for 2013 and beyond…

It is my desire that YOU ( reading this blog) do too.

Happy New Year 2013
Filled with Love & Fireworks